Next Generation: Respect

It is the summer of respect.  I talked to my kids a couple of weeks ago and told them that they needed to start saying yes sir, and yes mam when responding to me and their mother.  It has gotten to the point of arguing with, what seems like, everything that they are asked or told to do.  I know that they say yes sir and yes mam outside of the house, but as they get older they start to lose the reasoning behind the use of these words.

My parents didn't ask or require these ways of being addressed.  I'm not sure why, I recall that for the most part I respected my parents and what they asked of me and there was not second guessing or questioning of their authority.  I believed they always had my best interest at heart, even when I didn't necessary like their decision.  I think my brother did push this a lot more than me, but I'm not sure why, if it was how we dealt with circumstances in our lives, the people we hung out with, or our perspectives on life and how we relate to the world.

I talked to my 2 girls last night about the why I am asking them to address us with "yes sir", and "yes mam".  It not that I want control over them, but rather respect from them, as a parent our job is to instill qualities and habits that will make them love others and God.  One way to do this is by respecting your mother and father.

This generation has lost something.  Talking with other parents and observing the behavior of pre-teens/teens, their is a different attitude about life that is good but there is also some bad elements of the culture we live in.  100 years ago, before schools of the industrialized age, kids learned skills, trades, life, from their parents and probably their local community as well for the most part.  I read that kids spend more time today with their coaches, teachers, and friends than their parents.  Where do you think kids will get their perspective from?  For the most part the longer the tie I spend with someone the more influence they will have on my life.  I would my self several years ago that I would spend more time with my kids than they spend with their coaches.  I have failed...

Going back a few weeks to another post, I wrote about "we manage our kids" we don't love the.  I think loving them means teaching them, spending time with them, and reading them to help them reach their full potential in life.

Let us pray that this next generation can over come this lack of attention from parents that has become an accepted epidemic in our society.

Managing Our Kids instead of Loving them

We spend a lot of time managing our kids.  From the time they get up to the time they go to bed.  From a baby to teenagers.  We are not met to manage our kids but love them.  Once again our modern world says we need to have a big house, big mortgage, work hard to get ahead, etc, etc.   How often do we sit down with our kids and just talk about the day...  This goes back to some think I read that said, our kids spend more time with a coach, other kids, teachers, do you want them being the biggest influences in their lives?  My goal was to send more time with my kids than anyone else. I want to have the biggest influence on them.  Well, I have failed.  Between work, home repairs, maintenance, second job, that time has dwindled down to a few minutes a day.  If I'm luck maybe a few dinners a week...

Getting back to managing our kids, how ha this happened?  As they get old they are distracted (as are we) with getting caught up with the rat race, focused on our phones.  I was talking with my brother from Buffalo earlier today and pictured him sitting in his backyard and calling to just say hi.  I mentioned how it is so hard to just sit and relax or to give someone a call for no reason but to talk about the day.  We need to get back to the metal state of relaxing, taking a break to let our brains breath.  We need to cut out all this extra stuff, the big house, make more money, etc, and get back to a simpler time...

Ref.: Robert J Kriegel, PhD; How to Succeed at Business without working so Damn Hard